Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I have feelings that need drinking.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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