She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
