i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
