don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
