I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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