What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
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