but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Randomize
