I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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