Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
so much tequila, so little girl.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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