We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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