Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
