Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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