the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
