there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize