This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
