last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
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