the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize