Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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