we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
