we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
