shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
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