Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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