Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I think my moral compass just broke
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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