I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Randomize
