Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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