don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize