Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
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