Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Randomize
