it wasn't lemon gatorade
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
