dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Randomize
