did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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