I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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