Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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