Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Randomize
