Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize