Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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