I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I looked at my own cervix.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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