And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I have fence marks all over my body
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
