yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Randomize
