There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Randomize