Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
