The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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