I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
