Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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