hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
