Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
