i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
