that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize