I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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