when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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