Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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