I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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