I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I could fuck to npr.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize