i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
