It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
