I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
