i barfeds in our rink
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
