i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
