ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
