One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
