i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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