I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
