yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
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