New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
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