i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Randomize