Define "chronic" masturbator.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize