Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Randomize
