Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
