Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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