I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
