on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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