alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
