So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize