sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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