Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
i can't believe i had my finger in that
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
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