I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize
