why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize