She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize