Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
