I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
