your room smells of hookers.
And success
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
